Does He Really Love Me?

Have you been involved in a relationship long enough to start wondering when the “L” word is going to get used? Maybe you have tried dropping little hints or suggestions to get him to say it, but the truth is that he won’t unless he is really ready. On the other hand, when he IS ready, he will start to drop some very important clues to test the L waters with you. Here are some of those clues uncovered! You don’t need all of them to know if he loves you or not—every man is different—but if he hits a few on this list consider yourself one lucky girl.

·         He communicates frequently. When a man loves a woman, he can’t get enough of her. When he’s not seeing her, he will be texting, calling, emailing, anything he can do to keep in touch.

·         He tells you intimate things. Although many men have a difficult time opening up about serious issues, memories, or experiences, the man who loves you will feel comfortable enough to reach this vulnerable position with you. If this happens on the first date, this is not love. If this begins to happen three to six months into the relationship, then he is definitely falling in love with you. Examples of intimate things he may share with you will be details of a divorce or other painful breakup in his life, stories about his family and childhood, his life goals and his dreams. If he talks about his mother specifically, and more than once or twice, he doesn’t have mommy issues; he’s subconsciously letting you know that he wants to marry someone like her, and you might be it.

·         He takes risks with you. The men who love their women are the ones on the dance floor with them. They aren’t smiling of course because most men hate that, but when they hit the floor it is because the woman they love has asked them to. They will also express sudden excitement over other things like skydiving, cake decorating classes, and trips to the library. Taking risks is identified by anything he does that is out of his comfort zone. If he’s said yes to going to the ballet on Christmas Eve, he is a smitten kitten.

·         He treats you like you walk on water. The contemporary colloquialism to this is being treated like a queen or princess. If it seems like you can do nothing wrong, and he is going out of his way with gestures to protect you and to keep you safe from the mud puddles of the world, he is in love and is using gallant actions to display these feelings for you.

·         He starts using the “L” word in random conversation. When a man is ready to share his love, he will start using the word. In most cases he will not say the word TO her directly, the way she is hoping he will. But he will start to love everything else. He will start signing emails Love, or start slipping it into conversation. “I would love to see you again.” Or “I love chili fries too!” or, if he is feeling more daring, “I love doing stuff with you!” If you start hearing this word randomly crop up, the “L” word is on its way to you in exactly the way you want to hear it.

·         He actually says the three little words. This may sound obvious, but many women don’t believe it when they finally hear the words, and this is the truth. Men don’t just throw this out there to get someone in bed. When they say it, congratulations! They mean it.

The Bottom Line

When it comes to discovering whether or not a man really loves you, the phrase “actions speak louder than words” is the phrase that girlfriends falling in love should keep in mind. In a nutshell, you will know he loves you by the way he speaks and behaves in your presence, and even when you’re not around. In most cases, we know in our heart of hearts how he feels, but women have this tendency to second-guess the feelings that are so clear. These tips are the little clues he is leaving to let you know how he feels. Letting him get there at his own pace will strengthen that love to the point where you’ll never question it again.

Fix Marriage After Infidelity

How To Avoid Divorce

Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally.  And while not every marriage should attempt to be salvaged, a great many more than are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts.  So, the first step in avoiding divorce is recognizing that the fact that you have come to this point in your relationship is not unusual, but it does indicate that something must change if it is to survive.

But before you go through a mental litany of everything that needs to change as justification for giving up, realize that there is help out there and if you are willing to put in the time and commitment, you can make your marriage work even when it seems that you and your partner have reached the end of the road.

 Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling can be a very effective instrument in putting a marriage that seems to be going down the divorce path back onto the right track. Counselling helps couples to identify the root of their marital problems and solve them with a little help from a professional counsellor trained in mediation. Finding an effective marriage counsellor, however, requires a bit of work on your part.

 Many counsellors will offer a free consultation.  Ask for recommendations from friends, but in part you should call 10 or so counsellors, ask for their price packages ahead of time and then schedule consultations with the 3 or 4 that meet your pricing needs.  Make sure that when you go into these consultations you grade the effectiveness on how BOTH you and your spouse feel about the individual.


Self Help

There are also many self-help tools available in the market today. There are some excellent books and articles on how to make marriages work, how to re-ignite the spark in a relationship and how a few simple steps can bring back the love in a relationship that had turned hateful.

Both partners can get a lot of inspiration, advice and ideas on how to make relationships work from such books and articles. You can even find help when you think there is infidelity in your marriage. There are books and articles out there, which tell you why people cheat or stray out of line and what you can do about it.

The common thread in all of these self help guides is communication and understanding.  By making an effort to understand where your spouse is coming from, and them where you are, and then making compromises and communicating, most marital problems will become alleviated.

Resorts

Then there are many resorts that are specially designed to create an ambience which is conducive to romance. These vacation packages are easy to find and require only that you be on the look out.  The point of these resorts is to reinvigorate a relationship by introducing some of the passion and spontaneity that over time can be watered down by obligations and daily responsibilities.

These events attempt to eliminate outside stresses so that you can focus on your spouse, and in so doing rekindle the love you feel for one another.

All in all, if you are willing to put in your best efforts to stop your marriage from slipping away, there is now help at hand and you need not have to fight alone.

By utilizing the tools of counsellors, self help and resorts you can go a long way to giving your marriage the best chance for survival. But beyond survival, these tools can help ensure you a happy lifelong relationship.

Learn More At: Rekindle Marriage After Infidelity Facebook Page

Rekindling A Marriage After An Affair

Learning to rebuild trust after the marriage suffers from infidelity takes commitment, time and a great deal of bravery. It is often hard to carry on with the relationship when the trust is broken and to rebuild your marriage, you will have to find the capacity to forgive your spouse. Although you can never forget the pain and hurt your spouse brought you with the affair, after a period of time with suitable healing techniques, the pain and hurt will diminished a little and learning to forgive your spouse is the way to progress with your marriage.

Feelings Of Emotion Is Normal

You have to recognize the fact that after the trust has been abused in terrible way, in the beginning you will feel extremely hurt and have feelings of utter devastation. After the initial emotions had faded, you will start to feel great anger and bitterness and these are extremely normal and is part of a grieving process. You felt this way because the special bond between you and your spouse has been broken, gone and died. You need to mourn this loss and it has to be replace with something else.

Unfortunately, some marriages cannot survive the initial as the betrayed spouses cannot deal with this affair. The marriage may still continue but without forgiveness, the betrayed spouse may turn into a bitter person and may manifest into hate.

Start The Healing Process By Talking To Your Spouse

It may seem to be a very hard thing to do but part of the healing process is to be able to speak to your spouse about the affair. It is also important to try to stay calm when asking important questions such as, if the affair an isolated case? Do you feel any remorse or hurt by the act of infidelity? Are you willing to change and commit yourself to rebuild the marriage? These are the some of the many questions that need to be asked and answered.

At the end of the day, it is you who have to decide whether if you are willing to support your spouse through this difficult period and are you willing to forgive your spouse and rebuild marriage with him? If you think you can and if you think your spouse is sincerely to make amends, then it is really a good idea to talk to a marriage counselor to help you and your spouse to work things out.

How To Save And Rebuild My Marriage

Rebuilding trust in a broken relationship or marriage is a long and difficult process. Discover how to rebuild marriage yourself, get your spouse to change and how to communicate effectively.

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Are You Having Trouble Connecting With Your Partner?

A relationship takes hard work, commitment and sacrifice ¾ none of which can be done in a light-hearted manner. What are you willing to do to connect on a deeper level with your partner? Here are some suggestions to maximize your satisfaction and your partner’s in order to achieve lifelong relationship success.

Details:

What’s All the Fuss About, Anyways?

·         Connection – A bond between two people in a relationship that when nurtured has the power to help a relationship grow stronger over time and contribute to an amazing sex life.

·         Emotional and physical connections – These connections must be worked on continuously.

·         Intimacy – You need intimacy in the bedroom for a man’s satisfaction and emotional intimacy for a women’s satisfaction.  Both lead to overall relationship happiness for a lifetime.

·         Show You Care – Create opportunity for stronger connection through small gestures of appreciation and love, such as texting each other during your work day, taking over making dinner or doing the dishes, speaking kindly, easing your partner’s hard day by bringing him or her a glass of wine in bed, etc.

Eat Breakfast Together

·         Focus on romance first thing in the morning. Breakfast in bed is a great chance to build a connection that lasts all day.

·         Having breakfast together at the dining room table every morning is a solid daily ritual that can improve your connection.

·         Bring out your partner’s favorite foods, and enjoy making breakfast together once a week as a bonding exercise.

·         Do you watch TV while eating breakfast? Commit to turning it off during this sacred time you can connect and focus on each other.

Hold Hands More

·         Focus on the touch – Holding hands is the easiest way to increase the frequency in which you touch. Hold hands while you eat, sit on the couch or when you have a discussion with each other.

·         Kiss each other’s hands – Focus on making your partner feel good. Every time you hold hands, you’re strengthening your bond. Hold hands every chance you get.

Focus on Couples Time Daily

·         Don’t miss out on opportunities to bond over each other’s day. Let your partner have some time to unwind after getting home from work; then focus on each other.

·         What was your partner’s day like, and what was yours like? Go over the highlights, and then give specifics. You can’t form a stronger connection if you aren’t detailed about your work life.

Turn Off the TV and Computer

·         Turn off the TV, computer, iPad and phone to give your partner your full attention.

·         Turn off all devices that you are used to having on that keep your attention more than your partner.

·         Make a list of electronic devices you use every day, and turn them off when your partner gets home. Turn on some soft music instead.

Check In Throughout Your Day

·         Go six-eight hours without speaking, texting or emailing your partner? That’s way too long!

·         Fill in the gaps of time you’re not together by making your phone your best friend. Text your partner short and sweet messages. For example: “Let’s meet during our lunch hour. Can’t wait to see you!” or “How’s your morning going? Hope you’re having a great day!”

Conclusion

When you spend time connecting with your partner both emotionally and physically, you’ll be able to better handle the rough patches of your relationship. Follow these tips, and you’ll increase your happiness! 

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Reasons Why Men Lie

Introduction

For most women, trust is the most valuable component of the relationship. If she can trust him fully and completely, most of her relationship issues wouldn’t exist. This is why most women will have “honesty” as the first word that comes to mind after “funny” when they are asked what they are looking for in a guy. But the cold hard truth is that men lie. Women do too, of course, but men do it far more often and for much different reasons. If more women knew why men lied, it might keep them from getting hurt, and could even help them spot it sooner. In fact, knowing why men lie will also help women pick out the good apples from the bad. When women know why men are lying, not only might they feel more secure in their relationships, but maybe, just maybe, fewer fights will break out by the day’s end.

The Details

• Because he thinks he’s helping. A different wording to this reason is “Because he’s trying to avoid a fight.” Enter the age-old question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” and you understand this point in an instant. He can’t win this one, no matter how he answers. So he lies. What many women forget is that it doesn’t matter what his answer is; if he is with her, he thinks she’s beautiful whether she’s wearing that dress or one of the five she tried on before it. For him, bullet dodged.
• Because he has a fragile ego. Fragile, but large. Too large to tell you he has feelings, but fragile enough to remind you he is human once in a while. After Neil Simon wrote his play Come Blow Your Horn he went to work every day telling his wife he was working on his second play, when he wasn’t, and was too embarrassed to tell her otherwise.
• Because he wants to build up his ego. This lie occurs when he’s with men more frequently than when he’s with women. “I kept her up all night” or “I’m going to be making six figures any day now,” things like that. This simply goes back to the primate need of puffing himself up in front of other male members of the species. If women are around, these lies get even bigger. For example, he may tell the couple friends you are having dinner with that he can bench 250 too, and you may wonder what he’s talking about when he hasn’t been to the gym in five years.
• Because he’s just not that into you anymore. The most unfortunate reason of all: He is falling out of love. “No, sorry, won’t be able to call when I land, I don’t even know where I’ll be once the convention even starts.” Using qualifiers like “even” repeatedly, a higher pitch in his voice or a lack of details are clues that you are falling victim to this reason.
• Because he’s trying to get out of something. This will be a chore around the house, a new project at work, a new level of commitment with you. One of the top reasons women lie to men also. “No sorry, washing my hair that night.” Sound familiar?
• Because he can get away with it. Men may not always be great liars, but they aren’t stupid either. They will lie when they know they can get away with it. If he tells you that he graduated at the top of the class, he knows you aren’t going to check. This goes back to the ego booster as well.
• Because he truly believes you might turn into a psycho chick if he tells you the truth. Unfortunately some women before you may have colored his perception of the opposite sex. You can’t blame him; his half has done the same to you, which is why you refer to many men you once dated as psychos or stalkers yourself. You can decrease your chances of becoming victim to this one by … never acting like a psycho chick. When he sees your calm, cool attitude all of the time, he will be more willing to be honest with you.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that men lie for self-preservation most of the time. Although you think his little white lies or big whoppers are reason enough to start a fight, that’s exactly what he’s trying to avoid. And when that’s not the case, he’s doing so because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, even if you really deserve the truth, like, “my girlfriend thinks it’s time to break up.” Men aren’t as in touch with their emotive centers as women, so it’s not as easy for them to just open up and give it to you in real talk. When you know why he’s fibbing, though, it makes your job that much easier. And when he has a history with you knowing that you don’t go all loco when the truth comes out, he will be that much more willing in the future to give you just that.

Learn More At: Fix Marriage After Infidelity 

5 Mysteries of the Male Brain

By: James Bauer

Couple flirting in front of offices Male and female brains are different. Sometimes very different.

It all comes back to what happens in the womb. Before we’re even born, our brains begin to develop.

During this time, the male brain is powerfully influenced by the presence of testosterone.

Some men end up with a lot of very masculine tendencies, while others have fewer.
Nonetheless, most guys think in fairly predictable ways.

If you’ve spent much time with a man who has a very masculine brain, you’ve likely noticed at least a couple of quirks.

But before I get to those, a word of caution.

While you might think of these as annoyances, it’s important to remember that his brain isn’t built like yours. When a guy exhibits one of these traits, he’s not being stubborn, rude or unsympathetic. He’s just using his brain the way it was made!

That said, here are five mysteries of the male brain that may leave you scratching your head:

He doesn’t notice things. You hang a holiday wreath on the front door. He walks in through that door. You ask him what he thinks of the new wreath and he has to walk back outside to look at it. He didn’t even see it on the way in!

He craves control. Even when you’re just watching TV together, it’s critical that he has possession of the remote. It’s like the experience is diminished if you’re holding it. What’s more, he may end up just flipping through channels in an unending quest to make sure he’s not missing something better.

He’s too solution-oriented. You come home after a hard day at work. He listens to you vent for a bit. Sensing that you’re anxious, but failing to understand that you really just want to share your feelings, he immediately starts trying to “solve the problem.” You want support, but he’s all about finding a solution.

He misses what you just said. You’re the only two people in the room. You say something. He misses it completely, even though he may have nodded or said, “Sure.” His attention was simply somewhere else.

He has a one-track mind. He can be so focused on the computer, the TV or a book that he gets irritated when you try to talk to him. You end up having to interrupt him several times just to be heard. And when you finally get his attention, he’s visibly annoyed.

Some of those scenarios are kind of funny. Some of them are down-right irritating. But I’m not sharing this list with you to pick on men.

Instead, I’m trying to call attention to the fact that men and women are fundamentally different in some ways. And some of those differences are what attract us to one another!

The yin and yang of human gender is what draws us together. When we learn to work with those differences instead of bucking against them, a beautiful balance is created.

Don’t beat your guy over the head for thinking like a man. Yes, he may hog the remote. He may miss something you literally just said. He may even fail to notice the new painting you hung in his apartment as an early Christmas present. But there’s one huge benefit.

If you understand how a man thinks, you can pull on his heartstrings like no other woman in his life.

As a dating and relationship coach, it’s my privilege to share with you one secret of the male mind that can addict him to you forever.

It’s a quirk of the male mind causes him to be obsessed with a particular need. I’m talking about a relationship need that makes him feel like a man. It’s something most men don’t even realize they want.

That’s okay, because in the short video presentation below, I can show you what he wants and how you can use his desire to draw him closer.

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Irresistible Confidence

By: James Bauer

A couple enjoying the park together Confidence feels good.

Men will tell you it’s one of the most attractive qualities a woman can possess.

Confidence is King. This is a bold statement, yet it begs the question: Confident about what?

Herein lies the problem. People give useless advice like, “Just be more confident.” What is that even supposed to mean? And how do you do it?

When you understand that confidence is a relative feeling, not a condition, you begin to learn that you can influence your own feelings of confidence.

Learning how to manage your feelings (and the thoughts that drive them) is key.

We are seeking a very specific end result -the feeling of confidence.However, this feeling comes about as the result of the way you perceive yourself, your world, and your goals.

Even though the goal is to increase your feeling of confidence, you cannot consciously control your feelings directly.

Fortunately, you can control your thoughts directly, which means you can use your thoughts to change the way you feel.

Heart shaped candy says, You and Me True confidence means you like who you are, regardless of whether others are impressed with who you’ve chosen to be.

More than anything else in this world, you have power and influence over yourself.How does this power and influence manifest in your thought life? Does your internal dialogue reflect a truly loving embrace of yourself?

If you’re like many other women, the honest answer to this question will be “no.”Your internal critic most likely dominates many of the thoughts you hold about yourself.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way for you.When you think of how you treat yourself, and how you talk to yourself, ask yourself if you would ever treat your best friend that way. If the answer if no, why would you treat yourself that way?

You are your own best friend, or at least you ought to be. Although you have the potential to be your own worst enemy, you must learn to choose not to be. To be successful in building your confidence, I want you to embrace the idea that it is okay to love yourself fiercely!

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you quit work and spend the day eating chocolate.True love embraces the whole person, both in their present form, and their future self.

Really loving yourself could mean taking a break, or it could mean taking a vacation.Really loving yourself could also mean making yourself go to the gym to work out even if you don’t feel like it. It’s about doing what will ultimately build your quality of life.

I challenge you to take a look within and answer this question: Are you loving yourself enough?

My experience has been that people who love themselves feel more confident. When you love yourself, you’re not afraid to see your own faults.Your imperfections don’t cause you to cringe and shut down your own thought processes to avoid the emotional pain of admitting you’re not a perfect person.

When you love yourself, you can see yourself as a whole person, flaws and all, and still fully accept yourself without any need to wear blinders.People who love themselves are generally better at loving others.

Here’s another condition for building confidence: Focus on enjoyment rather than “success.”
Your confidence will grow when you focus more on relationship experiences than on relationship outcomes.

On a first date, your primary concern becomes having fun and making it enjoyable for the other person too.This primary focus replaces the desire to impress the other person.

Wanting to impress the other person has more to do with the future of the relationship than it does the unfolding experience of the date itself.

The more you focus on future outcomes, the less confident you will feel.This is true in any area of life.

The more you focus on things in the future, the less control you have.The less control you have, the more insecure you feel.

To increase feelings of confidence, focus on what’s here and now. Focus on the experience of your interaction with people rather than making the right impression.

Stop and really think about this for a moment.What if you really and truly embrace this idea the next time you interact with a potential partner?Think about how free you would feel if you really let go of any control of future events.

Think about how easy it would be to be spontaneous and let your fun, relaxed side emerge if you really focused on appreciating the relationship interaction for what it is at the present moment.

You can do this!

When you finally get the courage to talk to a man you're interested in, he will feel like the luckiest man in the room. In fact, I'm confident he'll find you irresistible!

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